Sunday Horoscopes take their High school Exit Exam

With our economy tanking high school exit exams are forced to change with the times. With jobs scarce and hard to find, High School graduates are being forced to find other means of making some dough. My crystal ball has picked an exit question for each of you. Do you have what is takes to pass High School now-a-days? ( I found most of these online, but I threw in a couple of my own too!)


Libra-September 21st to October 22nd
Rufus is pimping three girls. If his cut is $65 per trick, how
many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can support his $800
per day crack habit?



Scorpio-October 23rd to November 21st
Jose' has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells a 8-ball to Ricky for
$320, & 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram. How many ounces does he
have left? And what is the street value of the remaining coke?



Sagittarius-November 22nd to December 20
Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of
ten shots & shoots 13 rounds at every drive- by shooting, how many
drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
What is the maximum number of people he can hit?



Capricorn-December 21st to January 20th
Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, & $100 for a
4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's & three 4x4's, how many Chevy's will he
have to steal to make $1000?



Aquarius-January 21st to February 19th
It's 10:15 and law enforcement has set a curfew for 10:00. Jose has to beat up 7 whores for his gang initiation. The hookers oar on 10th street, 15 minutes where Jose is at on 3rd. Luckily Jose has already beaten up four hoes. If it takes 8 minutes a beating and 25 minutes for Jose to return home, how much after curfew will Jose arrive at his crib?



Pisces-February 20th to March 19th
Salvador was arrested for dealing crack & his bail was set at
$25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% & returns to Mexico, how much
money will he lose by jumping bail?



Aries-March 20th to April 18th
Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night.
She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month
rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up
with her expenses?



Taurus-April 19th to May 19th
Hector knocked up 6 of the girls in his gang. There are 28 girls
in the gang. What percentage of the girls has Hector knocked up?



Gemini-May 20th to June 20th
Raoul is serving 6 years in prison for murder. He was paid $10,000
for the hit. If his comman-law wife is spending $100 per month , how
much money will be left when he gets out of prison (w/ time off for
good behavior /overcrowding) & how many years will he get for killing
the bitch that spent his money?



Cancer-June 21st to July 21st
If the average spray can covers 22 square feet & the average
letter is 8 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray if he
steals 3 full cans of paint & finds 1 can of paint 1/3 empty?



Leo-July 22nd to August 22nd
Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 lb. of heroin to make 20% more profit.
How many ounces will he need?



Virgo-August 23rd to September 21st
There are 24 days left until election day, and to beat your opponent by a 12 point margin how many homeless people do you have to pick up to make your goal if each bum can only vote three time with different aliases?


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