Is it Hump day already? NSFW!!!

Well I am in a fabulous mood today! The kids are back to school in five short days, AND a wonderful old friend that I had been missing dearly found me on MySpace today. AND she has a baby my little Lexi's age. Now this is not celebutard gossip, I am just sharing my jubilant mood with you so you will know why my blog is all hearts and flowers today. Of course I haven't read any gossip rags yet so let's see what going on....


Kathrine McPhee is pregnant! Okay she's not, she is just playing a pregnant hippo...I mean hippy(no I don't) in that movie with Rumer Willis. But the thought of her fat makes me smile a bit!

WTF #1

George Michael started serving his 100 hours of community service for his DUI today. He's no stranger to community service. He had to serve 80 hours of it way back when he was caught doing naughty stuff with another guy in a Beverly Hills public toilet.

AWW #1

This day is getting better and better! It turns out that The Hill's couple that I love to hate is a total fake. Not just the rumor's that Spencer Pratt is gay either! The huge rock that Heidi Montag has been flashing isn't a pink diamond like she's been telling everyone. It's an amethyst copy of the ring that Kobe Bryant gave his wife Vanessa after he cheated on her with that crazy girl! I know I promised to never again show Heidi's face in my blog again...but the look on her face as she flashes her ring that came right out of a bubblegum machine...is priceless. Well, not totally priceless...like 2.98 cents...hahahaaaaaa! (I am crying I am laughing so hard!) The stones around it are probably plastic just like her new boobies!

WTF #2

Check out how much Orlando Bloom looks like 1970's porno star Wadd Holmes....no relation to Katie...ya think?

AWW #2

They aren't just stopping at torturing us with The Two Coreys! Corey Feldman and Corey Haim have just signed on to do Lost Boys Two. o death by stereo is coming back to a theatre near you! I hope the sound track is half as good as the first one was!

WTF #3

Lindsay Lohan has already been let out of her newest rehab place so she could get a spray on tan. Yeah they are really tough there...NOT!

WTF #4

Daddy Trump is so proud of his little 25 year old Ivanka...

She made the cover of stuff magazine. Hey at 25 doesn't that make her younger than her newest step-mom?

He even bought her a new nose for the occasion: (I like her old one a bit better, but they are both pretty bad)

AWW#3

Foxy Brown missed being handcuffed. So what's a girl to do? Foxy slapped her neighbor upside her head with her cell phone just like Naomi did with her maid. She was arrested for menacing, harassment and criminal possession of a weapon today, and is already out on 5,000 dollars bail. She's due back in court September 26th.

AWW #4 (For Mom)

OMG if Jessica Simpson reads this, she will probably kill herself. NEW COUPLE ALERT: Johny Mayor AND Mandy Moore! They were seen all over each other in SoHo yesterday! I guess looks don't matter much to John anymore!

WTF #5

Um so I like totally don't get it...Is this look Estella Warren is trying to pull off sexy? Cause it looks like it hurts!

AWW #5

The National Enquirer is claiming that Halle Berry is two months pregnant with Gabriel Aubry's baby. Man is this kid going to be cute or what? Here's what a source told the Enquirer:

"She's wanted a baby for so long. But at the same time she's scared because she is very aware of the complications that having diabetes can cause during pregnancy. She's doing everything possible to make sure her baby is born healthy."

WTF #6

The Enquirer also had this to say about the KFed vs Zitney Shears custody battle:
“If he doesn’t act immediately, Kevin is convinced that Britney’s drug use, boozing and out-of-control behavior will result in a tragic accident. To bolster his case, Kevin has obtained video footage from 15 surveillance cameras that Britney installed in their $12 million mansion is Malibu. The sophisticated security system recorded activity in the home from the front gates to the kitchen in 2005 and 2006, according to insiders. This is the smoking gun Kevin has been waiting to use. Kevin said: Divorce that bitch and then get my boys away from her. In one tape, Britney slaps Kevin after screaming at him about a weekend he spent in Vegas. In another incident taped Britney whacked Kevin with a frying pan. Kevin was going to use the frying pan, but Britney grabbed it and hit him with it when he turned his back. He grabbed the pan out of her hand and walked away, but she hurled an ashtray at him. He dodged it, and it hit the sliding door. In addition to the tapes, Kevin has voicemail tapes of Britney admitting she was out drinking with friends. Kevin believes that Britney lets the boys run around with dirty diapers because she’s too lazy to change them.”

But they aren't the only gossip rag to bring us Britney stories
OK Says:
"Britney has hooked up with her former assistant Shannon Funk. And that on the night of the Matt Encinas hook-up, it was Shannon that ended up in Brit's bed. Witnesses told the mag that the two were "canoodling" topless in the pool all night. They also claim Brit hit on Jenna Jameson."
US Weekly says:

"Britney drinks booze in front of her kids and strips naked in front of her staffers. Britney only hires young and fun nannies that will drink with her. She also regularly strips down in front of them and asks if she looks sexy. One nanny claims Brit made her sleep in the same bed as her with SPF"

Star Magazine says:

"Britney allegedly told her kids they were mistakes. She makes out with men in front of them and she's basically a shitty mom who tries to whiten their teeth and feeds them sugary goods."

The only magazine NOT talking trash is Allure...and they just photo shopped the hell out of Britney:

AWW #6 >

Annie Lennox is back! She's got a new album and it's good stuff!

Check out one of her new songs:

WTF #7

A South Carolina inmate has filed a 63 million dollar lawsuit against ass-hat Michael Vick. He is claiming the Vick stole his two pit bulls and sold them on eBay. I don't care if he is lying or not, I hope he wins!

AWW #7

Mary Kate Olsen's grown up acting debue on Weeds:

WTF #8

Anne Hathaway is a great girlfriend:

AWW #8

Ben Affleck turns 35 today! AND thankfully has NO plans on filming Dare Devil 2! He has also been learning how to read...

WTF #9

I'm off to do lots of humping this hump day...what am I saying? I'm married with four kids...I'm off to cry while making diner and folding laundry....TTFN!!!!!